Saturday, March 15, 2014

Emo Night ... ❤

I hate it.
I hate myself for lingering around the thought like this and it's getting frequent.

Why.
Why people can wear Prada effortlessly?! Why people able to get to the top of the rank effortlessly while I'm trying so hard to make it all worked. I didn't mean Prada or fame or anything else.

Just sometimes. I think it is unfair. People get boyfriend effortlessly (switch between effortlessly), get a mobile effortlessly, get enrolled into the college effortlessly and etc. Not that I don't have them at all. They are short-lived. I sabotaged it. I never wanted to talk about it (too much for me to talk about it) and now I'm paying back to the Karma.

I failed to get hold of what meant so much for me. I'm such a failure.

I'm always a positive thinker and being so optimism about what have happened. But sometimes, I just don't feel like it. I wanna stop being so positive or optimism about everything and disappeared.  

I'm independent enough. I can travel alone to some distant. I can survive with all the things keep to myself and whatever bad things happened. But I'm not Superwoman. Just sometimes, I wanna share it. With someone. 

Always proud of myself being so positive thinking and optimism about what have happened and able to take any challenges. But I get emotional sporadically. And I hate it.

I failed to impress. Impress someone supposed to find me impressive. I don't know why and how i can make it better. They never really tell. 

Always telling myself that best thing come to who waited. But it is hard. The waiting.

Sometimes, I just feel like disappearing. 

累了! 只是有时候希望有一个肩膀可以依靠。有一人可以分享喜怒哀乐,而不是来了又走,重新开始更适应另一人需要很大的commitment. 我想消失。一天,也许。I can't leave that irresponsibly.

Good night.
I will be fine, i think. 

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