Howdy guys ... :)
Finally there is time for me to update! I'm always love to blog and having no time to update make me feel guilty. #itdoesn'tmatterwhetherthereisanyoneheretoread. I have been rushing my assignments as the Final Exam is in imminent but there is still a lot of them no matter how hard i'm working on it. #cannotgiveup. >...<
Pardon me for the photo i have chosen and what you was looking at. It was my last year Halloween's look. #Lol. #nonewphotoslah
I have chosen the left alignment which mean this is going to be a rather long (winded) post!
I hate uncaring person and unfair treatments.
Whenever people share with me how uncaring is who who who, my first reaction will be "哇！他／她很賤咯！" and it is my virtual reaction from the bottom of my heart. I always thought in my mind that why don't the person walk in the 'victim's shoes before they say anything like that. I always thought i'm perfectly fit into 'caring' and 'considerate' but then ... I ain't.
So what happened?
I'm assigned to phone up a client to give some explanation in Mandarin as the client only speak Mandarin and i'm the only employee who can speaks Mandarin. I have been assigning to do so and some goes well, some really frustrated me. I can speak Mandarin but they are only conversational. I prefer English when come to business. What happened is that i have given all the explanation needed and client asked about something else which related but i didn't have an idea on it so i was being perfunctory and somehow impertinent. She realized and have lectured me for about half an hour in a nice way.
She was telling me "How hard is it to be an uneducated citizen but what can we do? Being uneducated is not at all a choice back then so it is inevitable that we need someone who can speak Mandarin and explain everything in the way we could understand and ..." I was the one who being impertinent, she may sound a little frustrated but never rude or impertinent and she kept apologize when she was lecturing me. At first, i felt annoyed and irritated as who is she to lecture me? An uneducated lady? I felt funny with what she said. But then i realized something ... My mum is an uneducated lady as well. What if someone treated my mum like how i have treated the lady?
Years ago, my father involved in an accident and he headed to the police station to lodge a report. Me and my younger brother were with him. Both of my parents are uneducated. They speak little Bahasa Melayu and not at all for English. As the lady mentioned, being uneducated is not at all a choice back then. They were poor and they can't afford the school fee. During the report lodging with the officer, we were not allowed to be beside my father but after a while, my father had seek for our help as he couldn't utter what he was trying to mean. My brother is fluent in Bahasa Melayu but the officer rejected our statements and insisted that he would be only listening to what my father said and i heard the officer had totally misunderstood what my father trying to mean and when we were trying to help, he kinda shouted at us and gave imperative to back off. I was really enraged and pissed by the attitude. (this also explained why i'm racist)
The way they interrogated was really ill and sick. They treated us like a culprit instead of a victim and thought they are the boss and the way they spoke was really damn arrogant. #youarejustatypewriterdontthinktoomuch Seeing the unfair treatment exerted on my father, i shed tears. It was really hurt to see people treated my parents like this. Like shit. Thinking back, i'm realized i am just like the officer who had treated my father like shit. :( I'm sorry.
Something bad have happened to one of my INTI bitches the other day.
I am 'traumatized' to Libra (because i met one Libra's bitch and one Libra's asshole) and whatever they do, i'm always bias against them. She is Libra and her bag got snatched so she spent her day fixing all the documents which have gone. At night, we were going to have a presentation and she told me she wasn't ready. I was being so inconsiderate, i accused her for finding excuses (in my mind) and was thinking that she should have get ready when she is waiting for her documents (everyone knows that you will have to wait a rather long time when come to our Malaysia's government) and what happened will never be an excuse in delaying things. No matter what happened, life goes on. I couldn't mask the hatred growing so i treated her like shit during the presentation. >...<
Actually Libras are very sincere to friends (according to their horoscope's forecast).
She did not dwell on it and volunteered to send me home when my "Queen" wasn't able to make it. I felt really sorry to her. I myself have been going through a lots and they are so much worse so i was thinking if i'm able to survive through them then you have no excuses to make from getting over it (i will come out with this thought because i was really 'fragile' and spoiled back then). I hate myself for being so inconsiderate. I survived but it wasn't mean that i'm not hurt so why couldn't i give people the time to settle down (their mind)? Not that it happened a year ago and they still dwell on it what. >...<
I really should learn how to be a more considerate and caring person.